then； and the surest way to get rich quickly in Christ's earthly kingdom
is to invent a kind of gun that can kill more Christians at one shot than
any other existing kind。 All the Christian nations are at it。 The more
advanced they are； the bigger and more destructive engines of war they
create。〃
Once； speaking of battles great and small； and how important even a small
battle must seem to a soldier who had fought in no other； he said：
〃To him it is a mighty achievement； an achievement with a big A； when to
a wax…worn veteran it would be a mere incident。 For instance； to the
soldier of one battle； San Juan Hill was an Achievement with an A as big
as the Pyramids of Cheops； whereas； if Napoleon had fought it； he would
have set it down on his cuff at the time to keep from forgetting it had
happened。 But that is all natural and human enough。 We are all like
that。〃
The curiosities and absurdities of religious superstitions never failed
to furnish him with themes more or less amusing。 I remember one Sunday；
when he walked down to have luncheon at my house； he sat under the shade
and fell to talking of Herod's slaughter of the innocents； which he said
could not have happened。
〃Tacitus makes no mention of it；〃 he said； 〃and he would hardly have
overlooked a sweeping order like that； issued by a petty ruler like
Herod。 Just consider a little king of a corner of the Roman Empire
ordering the slaughter of the first…born of a lot of Roman subjects。
Why； the Emperor would have reached out that long arm of his and
dismissed Herod。 That tradition is probably about as authentic as those
connected with a number of old bridges in Europe which are said to have
been built by Satan。 The inhabitants used to go to Satan to build
bridges for them； promising him the soul of the first one that crossed
the bridge； then； when Satan had the bridge done； they would send over a
rooster or a jackassa cheap jackass； that was for Satan； and of course
they could fool him that way every time。 Satan must have been pretty
simple； even according to the New Testament； or he wouldn't have led
Christ up on a high mountain and offered him the world if he would fall
down and worship him。 That was a manifestly absurd proposition； because
Christ； as the Son of God； already owned the world； and； besides； what
Satan showed him was only a few rocky acres of Palestine。 It is just as
if some one should try to buy Rockefeller； the owner of all the Standard
Oil Company； with a gallon of kerosene。〃
He often spoke of the unseen forces of creation； the immutable laws that
hold the planet in exact course and bring the years and the seasons
always exactly on schedule time。 〃The Great Law〃 was a phrase often on
his lips。 The exquisite foliage； the cloud shapes； the varieties of
color everywhere： these were for him outward manifestations of the Great
Law； whose principle I understood to be unityexact relations throughout
all nature； and in this I failed to find any suggestion of pessimism； but
only of justice。 Once he wrote on a card for preservation：
From everlasting to everlasting； this is the law： the sum of wrong &
misery shall always keep exact step with the sum of human
blessedness。
No 〃civilization；〃 no 〃advance；〃 has ever modified these proportions
by even the shadow of a shade； nor ever can； while our race endures。
CCLXIV
CITIZEN AND FARMER
The procession of guests at Stormfield continued pretty steadily。
Clemens kept a book in which visitors set down their names and the dates
of arrival and departure； and when they failed to attend to these matters
he diligently did it himself after they were gone。
Members of the Harper Company came up with their wives； 〃angel…fish〃 swam
in and out of the aquarium； Bermuda friends came to see the new home；
Robert Collier； the publisher； and his wife〃Mrs。 Sally；〃 as Clemens
liked to call herpaid their visits； Lord Northcliffe； who was visiting
America； came with Colonel Harvey； and was so impressed with the
architecture of Stormfield that he adopted its plans for a country…place
he was about to build in Newfoundland。 Helen Keller； with Mr。 and Mrs。
Macy； came up for a week…end visit。 Mrs。 Crane came over from Elmira；
and； behold！ one day came the long…ago sweetheart of his childhood；
little Laura HawkinsLaura Frazer now； widowed and in the seventies；
with a granddaughter already a young lady quite grown up。
That Mark Twain was not wearying of the new conditions we may gather from
a letter written to Mrs。 Rogers in October：
I've grown young in these months of dissipation here。 And I have
left off drinkingit isn't necessary now。 Society & theology are
sufficient for me。
To Helen Allen； a Bermuda 〃Angel…Fish；〃 he wrote：
We have good times here in this soundless solitude on the hilltop。
The moment I saw the house I was glad I built it； & now I am gladder
& gladder all the time。 I was not dreaming of living here except in
the summer…timethat was before I saw this region & the house； you
seebut that is all changed now； I shall stay here winter & summer
both & not go back to New York at all。 My child； it's as tranquil &
contenting as Bermuda。 You will be very welcome here； dear。
He interested himself in the affairs and in the people of Redding。 Not
long after his arrival he had gathered in all the inhabitants of the
country…side； neighbors of every quality； for closer acquaintance； and
threw open to them for inspection every part of the new house。 He
appointed Mrs。 Lounsbury； whose acquaintance was very wide； a sort of
committee on reception； and stood at the entrance with her to welcome
each visitor in person。
It was a sort of gala day； and the rooms and the grounds were filled with
the visitors。 In the dining…room there were generous refreshments。
Again； not long afterward； he issued a special invitation to all of
those…architects； builders； and workmen who had taken any part； however
great or small； in the building of his home。 Mr。 and Mrs。 Littleton were
visiting Stormfield at this time； and both Clemens and Littleton spoke to
these assembled guests from the terrace； and made them feel that their
efforts had been worth while。
Presently the idea developed to establish something that would be of
benefit to his neighbors； especially to those who did not have access to
much reading…matter。 He had been for years flooded with books by authors
and publishers； and there was a heavy surplus at his home in the city。
When these began to arrive he had a large number of volumes set aside as
the nucleus of a public library。 An unused chapel not far awayit could
be seen from one of his windowswas obtained for the purpose； officers
were elected； a librarian was appointed； and so the Mark Twain Library of
Redding was duly established。 Clemens himself was elected its first
president； with the resident physician； Dr。 Ernest H。 Smith； vice…
president； and another resident； William E。 Grumman； librarian。 On the
afternoon of its opening the president made a brief address。 He said：
I am here to speak a few instructive words to my fellow…farmers。
I suppose you are all farmers： I am going to put in a crop next
year； when I have been here long enough and know how。 I couldn't
make a turnip stay on a tree now after I had grown it。 I like to
talk。 It would take more than the Redding air to make me keep
still； and I like to instruct people。 It's noble to be good； and
it's nobler to teach others to be good； and less trouble。 I am glad
to help this library。 We get our morals from books。 I didn't get
mine from books； but I know that morals do come from books
theoretically at least。 Mr。 Beard or Mr。 Adams will give some land；
and by and by we are going to have a building of our own。
This statement was news to both Mr。 Beard and Mr。 Adams and an
inspiration of the moment； but Mr。 Theodore Adams； who owned a most
desirable site； did in fact promptly resolve to donate it for library
purposes。 Clemens continued：
I am going to help build that library with contributions from my
visitors。 Every male guest who comes to my house will have to
contribute a dollar or go away without his baggage。
＇A characteristic notice to guests requiring them to contribute a
dollar to the Library Building Fund was later placed on the
billiard…room mantel at Stormfield with good results。＇ If those
burglars that broke into my house recently had done that they would
have been happier now； or if they'd have broken into this library
they would have read a few books and led a better life。 Now they
are in jail； and if they keep on they will go to Congress。 When a
person starts downhill you can never tell where he's going to stop。
I am sorry for those burglars。 They got nothing that they wanted
and scared away most of my servants。 Now we are putting in a
burglar…alarm instead of a dog。 Some advised the dog； but it costs
even more to entertain a dog than a burglar。 I am having the ground