Stolen。〃
No doubt many a person was misled by those sentences joined together
in that unkind way。 I have no doubt my character has suffered from
it。 I suppose I ought to defend my character； but how can I defend
it？ I can say here and now that anybody can see by my face that I
am sincerethat I speak the truth； and that I have never seen that
Cup。 I have not got the Cup； I did not have a chance to get it。 I
have always had a good character in that way。 I have hardly ever
stolen anything； and if I did steal anything I had discretion enough
to know about the value of it first。 I do not steal things that are
likely to get myself into trouble。 I do not think any of us do
that。 I know we all take thingsthat is to be expected； but really
I have never taken anything； certainly in England； that amounts to
any great thing。 I do confess that when I was here seven years ago
I stole a hatbut that did not amount to anything。 It was not a
good hat it was only a clergyman's hat； anyway。 I was at a
luncheon…party and Archdeacon Wilberforce was there also。 I dare say
he is archdeacon nowhe was a canon thenand he was serving in the
Westminster Battery； if that is the proper term。 I do not know； as
you mix military and ecclesiastical things together so much。
He recounted the incident of the exchanged hats； then he spoke of graver
things。 He closed：
I cannot always be cheerful； and I cannot always be chaffing。 I
must sometimes lay the cap and bells aside and recognize that I am
of the human race。 I have my cares and griefs； and I therefore
noticed what Mr。 Birrell saidI was so glad to hear him say it
something that was in the nature of these verses here at the top of
the program：
He lit our life with shafts of sun
And vanquished pain。
Thus two great nations stand as one
In honoring Twain。
I am very glad to have those verses。 I am very glad and very grateful
for what Mr。 Birrell said in that connection。 I have received since I
have been here； in this one week； hundreds of letters from all conditions
of people in England； men； women； and children； and there is compliment；
praise； and； above all； and better than all； there is in them a note of
affection。
Praise is well； compliment is well； but affectionthat is the last and
final and most precious reward that any man can win； whether by character
or achievement； and I am very grateful to have that reward。 All these
letters make me feel that here in England； as in America； when I stand
under the English or the American flag I am not a； stranger； I am not an
alien； but at home。
CCLVIII
DOCTOR OF LITERATURE； OXFORD
He left； immediately following the Pilgrim luncheon； with Hon。 Robert P。
Porter； of the London Times； for Oxford； to remain his guest there during
the various ceremonies。 The enceniathe ceremony of conferring the
degreesoccurred at the Sheldonian Theater the following morning； June
26； 1907。
It was a memorable affair。 Among those who were to receive degrees that
morning besides Samuel Clemens were： Prince Arthur of Connaught； Prime
Minister Campbell…Bannerman； Whitelaw Reid； Rudyard Kipling； Sidney Lee；
Sidney Colvin； Lord Archbishop of Armagh； Primate of Ireland； Sir Norman
Lockyer； Auguste Rodin； the sculptor； Saint…Saens； and Gen。 William
Booth； of the Salvation Army…something more than thirty； in all； of the
world's distinguished citizens。
The candidates assembled at Magdalen College； and led by Lord Curzon； the
Chancellor； and clad in their academic plumage； filed in radiant
procession to the Sheldonian Theater； a group of men such as the world
seldom sees collected together。 The London Standard said of it：
So brilliant and so interesting was the list of those who had been
selected by Oxford University on Convocation to receive degrees；
'honoris causa'； in this first year of Lord Curzon's chancellorship；
that it is small wonder that the Sheldonian Theater was besieged
today at an early hour。
Shortly after 11 o'clock the organ started playing the strains of
〃God Save the King；〃 and at once a great volume of sound arose as
the anthem was taken up by the undergraduates and the rest of the
assemblage。 Every one stood up as； headed by the mace of office；
the procession slowly filed into the theater； under the leadership
of Lord Curzon； in all the glory of his robes of office； the long
black gown heavily embroidered with gold； the gold…tasseled mortar…
board； and the medals on his breast forming an admirable setting；
thoroughly in keeping with the dignity and bearing of the late
Viceroy of India。 Following him came the members of Convocation； a
goodly number consisting of doctors of divinity； whose robes of
scarlet and black enhanced the brilliance of the scene。 Robes of
salmon and scarlet…which proclaim the wearer to be a doctor of civil
lawwere also seen in numbers； while here and there was a gown of
gray and scarlet； emblematic of the doctorate of science or of
letters。
The encenia is an impressive occasion； but it is not a silent one。 There
is a splendid dignity about it； but there goes with it all a sort of
Greek chorus of hilarity； the time…honored prerogative of the Oxford
undergraduate； who insists on having his joke and his merriment at the
expense of those honored guests。 The degrees of doctor of law were
conferred first。 Prince Arthur was treated with proper dignity by the
gallery； but when Whitelaw Reid stepped forth a voice shouted； 〃Where's
your Star…spangled Banner？〃 and when England's Prime Minister…Campbell…
Bannermancame forward some one shouted； 〃What about the House of
Lords？〃 and so they kept it up； cheering and chaffing； until General
Booth was introduced as the 〃Passionate advocate of the dregs of the
people； leader of the submerged tenth；〃 and general of the Salvation
Army；〃 when the place broke into a perfect storm of applause； a storm
that a few minutes later became； according to the Daily News； 〃a
veritable cyclone；〃 for Mark Twain； clad in his robe of scarlet and gray；
had been summoned forward to receive the highest academic honors which
the world has to give。 The undergraduates went wild then。 There was
such a mingling of yells and calls and questions； such as； 〃Have you
brought the jumping Frog with you？〃 〃Where is the Ascot Cup？〃 〃Where are
the rest of the Innocents？〃 that it seemed as if it would not be possible
to present him at all； but； finally； Chancellor Curzon addressed him （in
Latin）； 〃Most amiable and charming sir； you shake the sides of the whole
world with your merriment；〃 and the great degree was conferred。
If only Tom Sawyer could have seen him then！ If only Olivia Clemens
could have sat among those who gave him welcome！ But life is not like
that。 There is always an incompleteness somewhere； and the shadow across
the path。
Rudyard Kipling followedanother supreme favorite； who was hailed with
the chorus； 〃For he's a jolly good fellow；〃 and then came Saint…Satins。
The prize poems and essays followed； and then the procession of newly
created doctors left the theater with Lord Curzon at their head。 So it
was all over…that for which； as he said； he would have made the journey
to Mars。 The world had nothing more to give him now except that which he
had already long possessed…its honor and its love。
The newly made doctors were to be the guests of Lord Curzon at All Souls
College for luncheon。 As they left the theater （according to Sidney
Lee）：
The people in the streets singled out Mark Twain； formed a vast and
cheering body…guard around him and escorted him to the college
gates。 But before and after the lunch it was Mark Twain again whom
everybody seemed most of all to want to meet。 The Maharajah of
Bikanir； for instance； finding himself seated at lunch next to Mrs。
Riggs （Kate Douglas Wiggin）； and hearing that she knew Mark Twain；
asked her to present him a ceremony duly performed later on the
quadrangle。 At the garden…party given the same afternoon in the
beautiful grounds of St。 John's； where the indefatigable Mark put
in an appearance； it was just the sameevery one pressed forward
for an exchange of greetings and a hand…shake。 On the following
day； when the Oxford pageant took place； it was even more so。 〃Mark
Twain's Pageant；〃 it was called by one of the papers。＇There was a
dinner that evening at one of the colleges where； through mistaken
information； Clemens wore black evening dress when he should have
worn his scarlet gown。 〃When I arrived；〃 he said； 〃the place was
just a conflagrationa kind of human prairie…fire。 I looked as out
of place as a Presbyterian in hell。〃＇
Clemens remained the guest of Robert Porter； whose house was besieged
with those desiring a glimpse of their new doctor of letters。 If he went
on the streets he was instantly recognized by some new