with those desiring a glimpse of their new doctor of letters。 If he went
on the streets he was instantly recognized by some newsboy or cabman or
butcher…boy； and the word ran along like a cry of fire； while the crowds
assembled。
At a luncheon which the Porters gave him the proprietor of the catering
establishment garbed himself as a waiter in order to have the distinction
of serving Mark Twain； and declared it to have been the greatest moment
of his life。 This gentlemanfor he was no less than thatwas a man
well…read； and his tribute was not inspired by mere snobbery。 Clemens；
learning of the situation； later withdrew from the drawing…room for a
talk with him。
〃I found；〃 he said； 〃that he knew about ten or fifteen times as much
about my books as I knew about them myself。〃
Mark Twain viewed the Oxford pageant from a box with Rudyard Kipling and
Lord Curzon； and as they sat there some one passed up a folded slip of
paper； on the outside of which was written； 〃Not true。〃 Opening it； they
read：
East is East and West is West；
And never the Twain shall meet；
a quotation from Kipling。
They saw the panorama of history file by； a wonderful spectacle which
made Oxford a veritable dream of the Middle Ages。 The lanes and streets
and meadows were thronged with such costumes as Oxford had seen in its
long history。 History was realized in a manner which no one could
appreciate more fully than Mark Twain。
〃I was particularly anxious to see this pageant；〃 he said； 〃so that I
could get ideas for my funeral procession； which I am planning on a large
scale。〃
He was not disappointed； it was a realization to him of all the gorgeous
spectacles that his soul had dreamed from youth up。
He easily recognized the great characters of history as they passed by；
and he was recognized by them in turn； for they waved to him and bowed
and sometimes called his name； and when he went down out of his box； by
and by； Henry VIII。 shook hands with him； a monarch he had always
detested； though he was full of friendship for him now； and Charles I。
took off his broad； velvet…plumed hat when they met； and Henry II。 and
Rosamond and Queen Elizabeth all saluted himghosts of the dead
centuries。
CCLIX
LONDON SOCIAL HONORS
We may not detail all the story of that English visit； even the path of
glory leads to monotony at last。 We may only mention a few more of the
great honors paid to our unofficial ambassador to the world： among them a
dinner given to members of the Savage Club by the Lord Mayor of London at
the Mansion House； also a dinner given by the American Society at the
Hotel Cecil in honor of the Fourth of July。 Clemens was the guest of
honor； and responded to the toast given by Ambassador Reid； 〃The Day we
Celebrate。〃 He made an amusing and not altogether unserious reference to
the American habit of exploding enthusiasm in dangerous fireworks。
To English colonists he gave credit for having established American
independence； and closed：
We have； however； one Fourth of July which is absolutely our own；
and that is the memorable proclamation issued forty years ago by
that great American to whom Sir Mortimer Durand paid that just and
beautiful tributeAbraham Lincoln： a proclamation which not only
set the black slave free； but set his white owner free also。 The
owner was set free from that burden and offense； that sad condition
of things where he was in so many instances a master and owner of
slaves when he did not want to be。 That proclamation set them all
free。 But even in this matter England led the way； for she had set
her slaves free thirty years before； and we but followed her
example。 We always follow her example； whether it is good or bad。
And it was an English judge； a century ago； that issued that other
great proclamation； and established that great principle； that when
a slave； let him belong to whom he may； and let him come whence he
may； sets his foot upon English soil his fetters； by that act； fall
away and he is a free man before the world！
It is true； then； that all our Fourths of July； and we have five of
them； England gave to us； except that one that I have mentionedthe
Emancipation Proclamation； and let us not forget that we owe this
debt to her。 Let us be able to say to old England； this great…
hearted； venerable old mother of the race； you gave us our Fourths
of July； that we love and that we honor and revere； you gave us the
Declaration of Independence； which is the charter of our rights；
you； the venerable Mother of Liberties； the Champion and Protector
of Anglo…Saxon Freedomyou gave us these things； and we do most
honestly thank you for them。
It was at this dinner that he characteristically confessed； at last； to
having stolen the Ascot Cup。
He lunched one day with Bernard Shaw； and the two discussed the
philosophies in which they were mutually interested。 Shaw regarded
Clemens as a sociologist before all else； and gave it out with great
frankness that America had produced just two great geniusesEdgar Allan
Poe and Mark Twain。 Later Shaw wrote him a note； in which he said：
I am persuaded that the future historian of America will find your works
as indispensable to him as a French historian finds the political tracts
of Voltaire。 I tell you so because I am the author of a play in which a
priest says； 〃Telling the truth's the funniest joke in the world；〃 a
piece of wisdom which you helped to teach me。
Clemens saw a great deal of Moberly Bell。 The two lunched and dined
privately together when there was opportunity； and often met at the
public gatherings。
The bare memorandum of the week following July Fourth will convey
something of Mark Twain's London activities：
Friday； July 5。 Dined with Lord and Lady Portsmouth。
Saturday； July 6。 Breakfasted at Lord Avebury's。 Lord Kelvin； Sir
Charles Lyell； and Sir Archibald Geikie were there。 Sat 22 times
for photos； 16 at Histed's。 Savage Club dinner in the evening。
White suit。 Ascot Cup。
Sunday； July 7。 Called on Lady Langattock and others。 Lunched with
Sir Norman Lockyer。
Monday； July 8。 Lunched with Plasmon directors at Bath Club。 Dined
privately at C。 F。 Moberly Bell's。
Tuesday； July 9。 Lunched at the House with Sir Benjamin Stone。
Balfour and Komura were the other guests of honor。 Punch dinner in
the evening。 Joy Agnew and the cartoon。
Wednesday； July 10。 Went to Liverpool with Tay Pay。 Attended
banquet in the Town Hall in the evening。
Thursday； July 11。 Returned to London with Tay Pay。 Calls in the
afternoon。
The Savage Club would inevitably want to entertain him on its own
account； and their dinner of July 6th was a handsome； affair。 He felt at
home with the Savages； and put on white for the only time publicly in
England。 He made them one of his reminiscent speeches； recalling his
association with them on his first visit to London； thirty…seven years
before。 Then he said：
That is a long time ago； and as I had come into a very strange land；
and was with friends； as I could see； that has always remained in my
mind as a peculiarly blessed evening； since it brought me into
contact with men of my own kind and my own feelings。 I am glad to
be here； and to see you all； because it is very likely that I shall
not see you again。 I have been received； as you know； in the most
delightfully generous way in England ever since I came here。 It
keeps me choked up all the time。 Everybody is so generous； and they
do seem to give you such a hearty welcome。 Nobody in the world can
appreciate it higher than I do。
The club gave him a surprise in the course of the evening。 A note was
sent to him accompanied by a parcel； which； when opened； proved to
contain a gilded plaster replica of the Ascot Gold Cup。 The note said：
Dere Mark； i return the Cup。 You couldn't keep your mouth shut
about it。 'Tis 2 pretty 2 melt； as you want me 2； nest time I work
a pinch ile have a pard who don't make after…dinner speeches。
There was a postcript which said： 〃I changed the acorn atop for another
nut with my knife。〃 The acorn was； in fact； replaced by a well…modeled
head of Mark Twain。
So； after all； the Ascot Cup would be one of the trophies which he would
bear home with him across the Atlantic。
Probably the most valued of his London honors was the dinner given to him
by the staff of Punch。 Punch had already saluted him with a front…page
cartoon by Bernard Partridge； a picture in which the presiding genius of
that paper； Mr。 Punch himself； presents him with a glass of the
patronymic beverage with the words； 〃Sir； I honor myself by drinking your
health。 Long life to youand happinessand perpetual youth！〃
Mr。 Agnew； chief editor； Linley Sambourne； Francis Burnand； Henry Lucy；
and others of the staff welcomed him at the Punch offices at 10 Bouverie
Street； in the historic Punch dining…ro