and others of the staff welcomed him at the Punch offices at 10 Bouverie
Street； in the historic Punch dining…room where Thackeray had sat； and
Douglas Jerrold； and so many of the great departed。 Mark Twain was the
first foreign visitor to be so honoredin fifty years the first stranger
to sit at the sacred boarda mighty distinction。 In the course of the
dinner they gave him a pretty surprise； when little joy Agnew presented
him with the original drawing of Partridge's cartoon。
Nothing could have appealed to him more； and the Punch dinner； with its
associations and that dainty presentation； remained apart in his memory
from all other feastings。
Clemens had intended to return early in July； but so much was happening
that he postponed his sailing until the 13th。 Before leaving America； he
had declined a dinner offered by the Lord Mayor of Liverpool。
Repeatedly urged to let Liverpool share in his visit； he had reconsidered
now； and on the day following the Punch dinner； on July loth； they
carried him； with T。 P。 O'Connor （Tay Pay） in the Prince of Wales's
special coach to Liverpool； to be guest of honor at the reception and
banquet which Lord Mayor Japp tendered him at the Town Hall。 Clemens was
too tired to be present while the courses were being served； but arrived
rested and fresh to respond to his toast。 Perhaps because it was his
farewell speech in England； he made that night the most effective address
of his four weeks' visitone of the most effective of his whole career：
He began by some light reference to the Ascot Cup and the Dublin Jewels
and the State Regalia； and other disappearances that had been laid to his
charge； to amuse his hearers； and spoke at greater length than usual； and
with even greater variety。 Then laying all levity aside； he told them；
like the Queen of Sheba； all that was in his heart 。
。 。 。 Home is dear to us all； and now I am departing to my own
home beyond the ocean。 Oxford has conferred upon me the highest
honor that has ever fallen to my share of this life's prizes。 It is
the very one I would have chosen； as outranking all and any others；
the one more precious to me than any and all others within the gift
of man or state。 During my four weeks' sojourn in England I have
had another lofty honor； a continuous honor； an honor which has
flowed serenely along； without halt or obstruction； through all
these twenty…six days； a most moving and pulse…stirring honorthe
heartfelt grip of the hand； and the welcome that does not descend
from the pale…gray matter of the brain； but rushes up with the red
blood from the heart。 It makes me proud and sometimes it makes me
humble； too。 Many and many a year ago I gathered an incident from
Dana's Two Years Before the Mast。 It was like this： There was a
presumptuous little self…important skipper in a coasting sloop
engaged in the dried…apple and kitchen…furniture trade； and he was
always hailing every ship that came in sight。 He did it just to
hear himself talk and to air his small grandeur。 One day a majestic
Indiaman came plowing by with course on course of canvas towering
into the sky； her decks and yards swarming with sailors； her hull
burdened to the Plimsoll line with a rich freightage of precious
spices； lading the breezes with gracious and mysterious odors of the
Orient。 It was a noble spectacle； a sublime spectacle！ Of course
the little skipper popped into the shrouds and squeaked out a hail；
〃Ship ahoy！ What ship is that？ And whence and whither？〃 In a deep
and thunderous bass the answer came back through the speaking…
trumpet； 〃The Begum； of Bengal142 days out from Cantonhomeward
bound！ What ship is that？〃 Well； it just crushed that poor little
creature's vanity flat； and he squeaked back most humbly； 〃Only the
Mary Ann； fourteen hours out from Boston； bound for Kittery Point
with nothing to speak of！〃 Oh； what an eloquent word that 〃only；〃
to express the depths of his humbleness！ That is just my case。
During just one hour in the twenty…fournot moreI pause and
reflect in the stillness of the night with the echoes of your
English welcome still lingering in my ears； and then I am humble。
Then I am properly meek； and for that little while I am only the
Mary Ann； fourteen hours out； cargoed with vegetables and tinware；
but during all the other twenty…three hours my vain self…complacency
rides high on the white crests of your approval； and then I am a
stately Indiaman； plowing the great seas under a cloud of canvas and
laden with the kindest words that have ever been vouchsafed to any
wandering alien in this world； I think； then my twenty…six fortunate
days on this old mother soil seem to be multiplied by six； and I am
the Begum； of Bengal； 142 days out from Cantonhomeward bound！
He returned to London； and with one of his young acquaintances； an
Americanhe called her Francescapaid many calls。 It took the
dreariness out of that social function to perform it in that way。 With a
list of the calls they were to make they drove forth each day to cancel
the social debt。 They paid calls in every walk of life。 His young
companion was privileged to see the inside of London homes of almost
every class； for he showed no partiality； he went to the homes of the
poor and the rich alike。 One day they visited the home of an old
bookkeeper whom he had known in 1872 as a clerk in a large establishment；
earning a salary of perhaps a pound a week； who now had risen mightily；
for he had become head bookkeeper in that establishment on a salary of
six pounds a week； and thought it great prosperity and fortune for his
old age。
He sailed on July 13th for home； besought to the last moment by a crowd
of autograph…seekers and reporters and photographers； and a multitude who
only wished to see him and to shout and wave good…by。 He was sailing
away from them for the last time。 They hoped he would make a speech； but
that would not have been possible。 To ；the reporters he gave a farewell
message： 〃It has been the most enjoyable holiday I have ever had； and I
am sorry the end of it has come。 I have met a hundred； old friends； and
I have made a hundred new ones。 It is a good kind of riches to have；
there is none better； I think。〃 And the London Tribune declared that
〃the ship that bore him away had difficulty in getting clear； so thickly
was the water strewn with the bay…leaves of his triumph。 For Mark Twain
has triumphed； and in his all…too…brief stay of a month has done more for
the cause of the world's peace than will be accomplished by the Hague
Conference。 He has made the world laugh again。〃
His ship was the Minnetonka； and there were some little folks aboard to
be adopted as grandchildren。 On July 5th； in a fog； the Minnetonka
collided with the bark Sterling； and narrowly escaped sinking her。 On
the whole； however； the homeward way was clear； and the vessel reached
New York nearly a day in advance of their schedule。 Some ceremonies of
welcome had been prepared for him； but they were upset by the early
arrival； so that when he descended the gang…plank to his native soil only
a few who had received special information were there to greet him。 But
perhaps he did not notice it。 He seldom took account of the absence of
such things。 By early afternoon； however； the papers rang with the
announcement that Mark Twain was home again。
It is a sorrow to me that I was not at the dock to welcome him。 I had
been visiting in Elmira； and timed my return for the evening of the a 2d；
to be on hand the following morning； when the ship was due。 When I saw
the announcement that he had already arrived I called a greeting over the
telephone； and was told to come down and play billiards。 I confess I
went with a certain degree of awe； for one could not but be overwhelmed
with the echoes of the great splendor he had so recently achieved； and I
prepared to sit a good way off in silence； and hear something of the tale
of this returning conqueror； but when I arrived he was already in the
billiard…room knocking the balls abouthis coat off； for it was a hot
night。 As I entered he said：
〃Get your cue。 I have been inventing a new game。〃 And I think there
were scarcely ten words exchanged before we were at it。 The pageant was
over； the curtain was rung down。 Business was resumed at the old stand。
CCLX
MATTERS PSYCHIC AND OTHERWISE
He returned to Tuxedo and took up his dictations； and mingled freely with
the social life； but the contrast between his recent London experience
and his semi…retirement must have been very great。 When I visited him
now and then； he seemed to me lonelynot especially for companionship；
but rather for the life that lay behind himthe great career which in a
sense now had been completed since he had touched its highest point。
There was no billiard…table at Tuxedo； and he spoke expectantly of
getting back to town and the games there； also of the new home which was
then building in Reddin