who had died under my care。 This must have been in the year 1900；
and the impression of boyishness remained until I met him in France
sixteen years later。 His manner of dress did much to produce
this illusion。 When he was a student in London he employed a tailor
in Queen Victoria Street to make his clothes； but with advancing years
he neglected to have new measurements taken or to alter the pattern
of his cloth。 To obtain a new suit was merely to write a letter；
and he was always economical of time。 In those days jackets were cut short；
and he adhered to the fashion with persistent care。
This appearance of youth at times caused chagrin to those patients
who had heard of his fame as a physician； and called upon him
for the first time。 In the Royal Victoria Hospital；
after he had been appointed physician； he entered the wards
and asked a nurse to fetch a screen so that he might examine a patient
in privacy。
〃Students are not allowed to use screens；〃 the young woman warned him
with some asperity in her voice。
If I were asked to state briefly the impression which remains with me
most firmly； I should say it was one of continuous laughter。
That is not true； of course； for in repose his face was heavy；
his countenance more than ruddy； it was even of a 〃choleric〃 cast；
and at times almost livid； especially when he was recovering
from one of those attacks of asthma from which he habitually suffered。
But his smile was his own； and it was ineffable。 It filled the eyes；
and illumined the face。 It was the smile of sheer fun； of pure gaiety；
of sincere playfulness； innocent of irony； with a tinge of sarcasm never。
When he allowed himself to speak of meanness in the profession；
of dishonesty in men； of evil in the world； his face became formidable。
The glow of his countenance deepened； his words were bitter；
and the tones harsh。 But the indignation would not last。 The smile would
come back。 The effect was spoiled。 Everyone laughed with him。
After his experience at the front the old gaiety never returned。
There were moments of irascibility and moods of irritation。
The desire for solitude grew upon him； and with Bonfire and Bonneau
he would go apart for long afternoons far afield by the roads and lanes
about Boulogne。 The truth is： he felt that he and all had failed；
and that the torch was thrown from failing hands。 We have heard much
of the suffering； the misery； the cold； the wet； the gloom of those
first three winters； but no tongue has yet uttered the inner misery of heart
that was bred of those three years of failure to break the enemy's force。
He was not alone in this shadow of deep darkness。 Givenchy； Festubert；
Neuve…Chapelle； Ypres； Hooge； the Somme to mention alone the battles
in which up to that time the Canadian Corps had been engaged
all ended in failure； and to a sensitive and foreboding mind
there were sounds and signs that it would be given to this generation to hear
the pillars and fabric of Empire come crashing into the abysm of chaos。
He was not at the Somme in that October of 1916； but those who returned
up north with the remnants of their division from that place of slaughter
will remember that； having done all men could do； they felt like deserters
because they had not left their poor bodies dead upon the field
along with friends of a lifetime； comrades of a campaign。
This is no mere matter of surmise。 The last day I spent with him
we talked of those things in his tent； and I testify that it is true。
IV
Going to the Wars
John McCrae went to the war without illusions。 At first；
like many others of his age； he did not 〃think of enlisting〃；
although 〃his services are at the disposal of the Country
if it needs them。〃
In July； 1914； he was at work upon the second edition of
the ‘Text…Book of Pathology' by Adami and McCrae； published by Messrs。
Lea and Febiger； and he had gone to Philadelphia to read the proofs。
He took them to Atlantic City where he could 〃sit out on the sand；
and get sunshine and oxygen； and work all at once。〃
It was a laborious task； passing eighty to a hundred pages
of highly technical print each day。 Then there was the index；
between six and seven thousand items。 〃I have；〃 so he writes；
〃to change every item in the old index and add others。
I have a pile of pages； 826 in all。 I look at the index；
find the old page among the 826； and then change the number。
This about 7000 times； so you may guess the drudgery。〃 On July 15th；
the work was finished； registered； and entrusted to the mail
with a special delivery stamp。 The next day he wrote the preface；
〃which really finished the job。〃 In very truth his scientific work was done。
It was now midsummer。 The weather was hot。 He returned to Montreal。
Practice was dull。 He was considering a voyage to Havre and 〃a little trip
with Dr。 Adami〃 when he arrived。 On July 29th； he left Canada
〃for better or worse。 With the world so disturbed；〃 he records；
〃I would gladly have stayed more in touch with events； but I dare say
one is just as happy away from the hundred conflicting reports。〃 The ship
was the ‘Scotian' of the Allan Line； and he 〃shared a comfortable cabin
with a professor of Greek；〃 who was at the University in his own time。
For one inland born； he had a keen curiosity about ships and the sea。
There is a letter written when he was thirteen years of age
in which he gives an account of a visit to a naval exhibition in London。
He describes the models which he saw； and gives an elaborate table of names；
dimensions； and tonnage。 He could identify the house flags and funnels
of all the principal liners； he could follow a ship through
all her vicissitudes and change of ownership。 When he found himself
in a seaport town his first business was to visit the water front
and take knowledge of the vessels that lay in the stream or by the docks。
One voyage he made to England was in a cargo ship。 With his passion for work
he took on the duties of surgeon； and amazed the skipper with a revelation
of the new technique in operations which he himself had been accustomed
to perform by the light of experience alone。
On the present and more luxurious voyage； he remarks that the decks
were roomy； the ship seven years old； and capable of fifteen knots an hour；
the passengers pleasant； and including a large number of French。
All now know only too well the nature of the business which sent
those ardent spirits flocking home to their native land。
Forty…eight hours were lost in fog。 The weather was too thick
for making the Straits； and the ‘Scotian' proceeded by Cape Race
on her way to Havre。 Under date of August 5…6 the first reference
to the war appears： 〃All is excitement； the ship runs without lights。
Surely the German kaiser has his head in the noose at last：
it will be a terrible war； and the finish of one or the other。
I am afraid my holiday trip is knocked galley west； but we shall see。〃
The voyage continues。 A 〃hundred miles from Moville we turned back；
and headed South for Queenstown； thence to the Channel； put in at Portland；
a squadron of battleships； arrived here this morning。〃
The problem presented itself to him as to many another。
The decision was made。 To go back to America was to go back from the war。
Here are the words： 〃It seems quite impossible to return；
and I do not think I should try。 I would not feel quite comfortable over it。
I am cabling to Morrison at Ottawa； that I am available either as combatant
or medical if they need me。 I do not go to it very light…heartedly；
but I think it is up to me。〃
It was not so easy in those days to get to the war； as he and many others
were soon to discover。 There was in Canada at the time
a small permanent force of 3000 men； a military college； a Headquarters staff；
and divisional staff for the various districts into which the country
was divided。 In addition there was a body of militia with a strength
of about 60；000 officers and other ranks。 Annual camps were formed
at which all arms of the service were represented； and the whole
was a very good imitation of service conditions。 Complete plans
for mobilization were in existence； by which a certain quota；
according to the establishment required； could be detailed from each district。
But upon the outbreak of war the operations were taken in hand
by a Minister of Militia who assumed in his own person all those duties
usually assigned to the staff。 He called to his assistance
certain business and political associates； with the result that volunteers
who followed military methods did not get very far。
Accordingly we find it written in John McCrae's diary from London：
〃Nothing doing here。 I have yet no word from the Department at Ottawa；
but I try to be philosophical until I hear from Morrison。
If they want me for the Canadian forces； I could use my old Sam Browne belt；
sword； and saddle if it is yet extant。 At times I wish I could go home
with a clear conscience。〃
He sailed for Canada in the ‘Calgarian' on August 28th；
having received a cablegram from Colonel Morrison； that he had been
provisionally appointed surgeon to the 1st Brigade Artillery。
The night he a