worldly ways and byways- 第25部分

out　as　Mr。　and　Mrs。　J。　Pericles　Sparks；　to　the　amusement　of　their　

friends；　their　own　satisfaction；　and　the　hopeless　confusion　of　

their　tradespeople。



Not　long　ago　a　Westerner；　who　went　abroad　with　a　travelling　show；　

was　received　with　enthusiasm　in　England　because　it　was　thought　〃The　

Honorable〃　which　preceded　his　name　on　his　cards　implied　that　

although　an　American　he　was　somehow　the　son　of　an　earl。　　As　a　

matter　of　fact　he　owed　this　title　to　having　sat；　many　years　before　

in　the　Senate　of　a　far…western　State。　　He　will　cling　to　that　

〃Honorable〃　and　print　it　on　his　cards　while　life　lasts。　　I　was　told　

the　other　day　of　an　American　carpet　warrior　who　appeared　at　court　

function　abroad　decorated　with　every　college　badge；　and　football　

medal　in　his　possession；　to　which　he　added　at　the　last　moment　a　

brass　trunk　check；　to　complete　the　brilliancy　of　the　effect。　　This　

latter　decoration　attracted　the　attention　of　the　Heir　Apparent；　who　

inquired　the　meaning　of　the　mystic　〃416〃　upon　it。　　This　would　have　

been　a　〃facer〃　to　any　but　a　true　son　of　Uncle　Sam。　　Nothing　

daunted；　however；　our　〃General〃　replied　〃That；　Sir；　is　the　number　

of　pitched　battles　I　have　won。〃



I　have　my　doubts　as　to　the　absolute　veracity　of　this　tale。　　But　

that　the　son　of　one　of　our　generals；　appeared　not　long　ago　at　a　

public　reception　abroad；　wearing　his　father's　medals　and　

decorations；　is　said　to　be　true。　　Decorations　on　the　Continent　are　

official　badges　of　distinction　conferred　and　recognized　by　the　

different　governments。　　An　American　who　wears；　out　of　his　own　

country；　an　army　or　college　badge　which　has　no　official　existence；　

properly　speaking；　being　recognized　by　no　government；　but　which　is　

made　intentionally　to　look　as　much　as　possible　like　the　〃Legion　

d'Honneur；〃　is　deliberately　imposing　on　the　ignorance　of　

foreigners；　and　is　but　little　less　of　a　pretentious　idiot　than　the　

owners　of　the　trunk　check　and　the　borrowed　decorations。



There　seems　no　end　to　the　ways　a　little　ambitious　game　can　be　

played。　　One　device　much　in　favor　is　for　the　wife　to　attach　her　own　

family　name　to　that　of　her　husband　by　means　of　a　hyphen。　　By　this　

arrangement　she　does　not　entirely　lose　her　individuality；　as　a　

result　we　have　a　splendid　assortment　of　hybrid　names；　such　as　Van　

Cortland…Smith　and　Beekman…Brown。　　Be　they　never　so　incongruous　

these　double…barrelled　cognomens　serve　their　purpose　and　raise　

ambitious　mortals　above　the　level　of　other　Smiths　and　Browns。　　

Finding　that　this　arrangement　works　well　in　their　own　case；　it　is　

passed　on　to　the　next　generation。　　There　are　no　more　Toms　and　Bills　

in　these　aspiring　days。　　The　little　boys　are　all　Cadwalladers　or　

Carrolls。　　Their　school…fellows；　however；　work　sad　havoc　with　these　

high…sounding　titles　and　quickly　abbreviate　them　into　humble　〃Cad〃　

or　〃Rol。〃



It　is　surprising　to　notice　what　a　number　of　middle…aged　gentlemen　

have　blossomed　out　of　late　with　decorations　in　their　button…holes　

according　to　the　foreign　fashion。　　On　inquiry　I　have　discovered　

that　these　ornaments　designate　members　of　the　G。A。R。；　the　Loyal　

Legion；　or　some　local　Post；　for　the　rosettes　differ　in　form　and　

color。　　When　these　gentlemen　travel　abroad；　to　reduce　their　waists　

or　improve　their　minds；　the　effects　on　the　hotel　waiters　and　cabmen　

must　be　immense。　　They　will　be　charged　three　times　the　ordinary　

tariff　instead　of　only　the　double　which　is　the　stranger's　usual　

fate　at　the　hands　of　simple…minded　foreigners。　　The　satisfaction　

must　be　cheap；　however；　at　that　price。



Even　our　wise　men　and　sages　do　not　seem　to　have　escaped　the　

contagion。　　One　sees　professors　and　clergymen　（who　ought　to　set　a　

better　example）　trailing　half　a　dozen　letters　after　their　names；　

initials　which　to　the　initiated　doubtless　mean　something；　but　which　

are　also　intended　to　fill　the　souls　of　the　ignorant　with　envy。　　I　

can　recall　but　one　case　of　a　foreign　decoration　being　refused　by　a　

compatriot。　　He　was　a　genius　and　we　all　know　that　geniuses　are　

crazy。　　This　gentleman　had　done　something　particularly　gratifying　

to　an　Eastern　potentate；　who　in　return　offered　him　one　of　his　

second…best　orders。　　It　was　at　once　refused。　　When　urged　on　him　a　

second　time　our　countryman　lost　his　temper　and　answered；　〃If　you　

want　to　give　it　to　somebody；　present　it　to　my　valet。　　He　is　most　

anxious　to　be　decorated。〃　　And　it　was　done！



It　does　not　require　a　deeply　meditative　mind　to　discover　the　

motives　of　ambitious　struggles。　　The　first　and　strongest　illusion　

of　the　human　mind　is　to　believe　that　we　are　different　from　our　

fellows；　and　our　natural　impulse　is　to　try　and　impress　this　belief　

upon　others。



Pride　of　birth　is　but　one　of　the　manifestations　of　the　universal　

weakness　…　invariably　taking　stronger　and　stronger　hold　of　the　

people；　who　from　the　modest　dimension　of　their　income；　or　other　

untoward　circumstances；　can　find　no　outward　and　visible　form　with　

which　to　dazzle　the　world。　　You　will　find　that　a　desire　to　shine　is　

the　secret　of　most　of　the　tips　and　presents　that　are　given　while　

travelling　or　visiting；　for　they　can　hardly　be　attributed　to　pure　

spontaneous　generosity。



How　many　people　does　one　meet　who　talk　of　their　poor　and　

unsuccessful　relatives　while　omitting　to　mention　rich　and　powerful　

connections？　　We　are　told　that　far　from　blaming　such　a　tendency　we　

are　to　admire　it。　　That　it　is　proper　pride　to　put　one's　best　foot　

forward　and　keep　an　offending　member　well　out　of　sight；　that　the　

man　who　wears　a　rosette　in　the　button…hole　of　his　coat　and　has　half　

the　alphabet　galloping　after　his　name；　is　an　honor　to　his　family。



Far　be　it　from　me　to　deride　this　weakness　in　others；　for　in　my　

heart　I　am　persuaded　that　if　I　lived　in　China；　nothing　would　please　

me　more　than　to　have　my　cap　adorned　with　a　coral　button；　while　if　

fate　had　cast　my　life　in　the　pleasant　places　of　central　Africa；　a　

ring　in　my　nose　would　doubtless　have　filled　my　soul　with　joy。　　The　

fact　that　I　share　this　weakness　does　not；　however；　prevent　my　

laughing　at　such　folly　in　others。









CHAPTER　24　…　Changing　Paris





PARIS　is　beginning　to　show　signs　of　the　coming　〃Exhibition　of　

1900；〃　and　is　in　many　ways　going　through　a　curious　stage　of　

transformation；　socially　as　well　as　materially。　　The　PALAIS　DE　

L'INDUSTRIE；　familiar　to　all　visitors　here；　as　the　home　of　the　

SALONS；　the　Horse　Shows；　and　a　thousand　gay　FETES　and　merry…

makings；　is　being　torn　down　to　make　way　for　the　new　avenue　leading；　

with　the　bridge　Alexander　III。；　from　the　Champs　Elysees　to　the　

Esplanade　des　Invalides。　　This　thoroughfare　with　the　gilded　dome　of　

Napoleon's　tomb　to　close　its　perspective　is　intended　to　be　the　

feature　of　the　coming　〃show。〃



Curious　irony　of　things　in　this　world！　　The　PALAIS　DE　L'INDUSTRIE　

was　intended　to　be　the　one　permanent　building　of　the　exhibition　of　

1854。　　An　old　〃Journal〃　I　often　read　tells　how　the　writer　saw　the　

long　line　of　gilded　coaches　（borrowed　from　Versailles　for　the　

occasion）；　eight　horses　apiece；　led　by　footmen　…　horses　and　men　

blazing　in　embroidered　trappings　…　leave　the　Tuileries　and　proceed　

at　a　walk　to　the　great　gateway　of　the　now　disappearing　palace。　　

Victoria　and　Albert　who　were　on　an　official　visit　to　the　Emperor　

were　the　first　to　alight；　then　Eugenie　in　the　radiance　of　her　

perfect　beauty　stepped　from　the　coach　（sad　omen！）　that　fifty　years　

before　had　taken　Josephine　in　tears　to　Malmaison。



It　may　interest　some　ladies　to　know　how　an　Empress　was　dressed　on　

that　spring　morning　forty…four　years　ago。　　She　wore　rose…colored　

silk　with　an　over…dress　（I　think　that　is　what　it　is　called）　of　

black　lace　flounces；　immense　hoops；　and　a　black　CHANTILLY　lace　

shawl。　　Her　hair；　a　brilliant　golden　auburn；　was　dressed　low　on　the　

temples；　covering　the　ears；　and　hung　down　her　back　in　a　gold　net　

almost　to　her　waist；　at　the　extreme　back　of　her　head　was　placed　a　

black　and　rose…colored　bonnet；　open　〃flowing〃　sleeves　showed　her　

bare　arms；　one…buttoned；　straw…colored　gloves；　and　ruby　bracelets；　

she　carried　a　tiny　rose…colored　parasol　not　a　foot　in　diameter。



How　England's　great　sovereign　was　dressed　the　writer　of　the　journal　

does　not　so　well　remember；　for　in　those　days　Eugenie　was　the　

cynosure　of　all　eyes；　and　people　rarely　looked　at　anything　else　

when　they　could　get　a　glimpse　of　her　lovely　face。



It　appears；　however；　that　the　Queen　sported　an　India　shawl；　hoops；　

and　a　green　bonnet；　which　was　not　particularly　becoming　to　her　red　

face。　　She　and　Napoleon　entered　the　building　first；　the　Empress　

（who　was　in　delicate　health）　was　carried　in　an　open　chair；　with　

Prince　Albert　walking　at　her　side；　a　marvellously　handsome　couple　

to　follow　the　two　dowdy　little　sovereigns　who　preceded　them。　　The　

writer　had　by　bribery　succeeded　in　getting　places　in　an　ENTRESOL　

window　under　the　archway；　and　was　greatly　impressed　to　see　those　

four　great　ones　laughing　and