that I am very fit to be cheated。 And can a man ever enough exalt the
value of a friend； in comparison with these civil ties？ The very image
of it which I see in beasts； so pure and uncorrupted； how religiously do
I respect it！ If others deceive me； yet do I not； at least； deceive
myself in thinking I am able to defend myself from them； or in cudgelling
my brains to make myself so。 I protect myself from such treasons in my
own bosom； not by an unquiet and tumultuous curiosity； but rather by
diversion and resolution。 When I hear talk of any one's condition； I
never trouble myself to think of him； I presently turn my eyes upon
myself to see in what condition I am； whatever concerns another relates
to me； the accident that has befallen him gives me caution； and rouses me
to turn my defence that way。 We every day and every hour say things of
another that we might properly say of ourselves； could we but apply our
observation to our own concerns； as well as extend it to others。 And
several authors have in this manner prejudiced their own cause by running
headlong upon those they attack； and darting those shafts against their
enemies； that are more properly； and with greater advantage； to be turned
upon themselves。
The late Mareschal de Montluc having lost his son； who died in the island
of Madeira； in truth a very worthy gentleman and of great expectation；
did to me； amongst his other regrets； very much insist upon what a sorrow
and heart…breaking it was that he had never made himself familiar with
him； and by that humour of paternal gravity and grimace to have lost the
opportunity of having an insight into and of well knowing； his son； as
also of letting him know the extreme affection he had for him； and the
worthy opinion he had of his virtue。 〃That poor boy；〃 said he； 〃never
saw in me other than a stern and disdainful countenance； and is gone in a
belief that I neither knew how to love him nor esteem him according to
his desert。 For whom did I reserve the discovery of that singular
affection I had for him in my soul？ Was it not he himself； who ought to
have had all the pleasure of it； and all the obligation？ I constrained
and racked myself to put on； and maintain this vain disguise； and have by
that means deprived myself of the pleasure of his conversation； and； I
doubt； in some measure； his affection； which could not but be very cold
to me； having never other from me than austerity； nor felt other than a
tyrannical manner of proceeding。〃
＇Madame de Sevigne tells us that she never read this passage without
tears in her eyes。 〃My God！〃 she exclaims； 〃how full is this book
of good sense！〃 Ed。＇
I find this complaint to be rational and rightly apprehended： for； as I
myself know by too certain experience； there is no so sweet consolation
in the loss of friends as the conscience of having had no reserve or
secret for them； and to have had with them a perfect and entire
communication。 Oh my friend；＇La Boetie。＇ am I the better for being
sensible of this； or am I the worse？ I am； doubtless； much the better。
I am consoled and honoured； in the sorrow for his death。 Is it not a
pious and a pleasing office of my life to be always upon my friend's
obsequies？ Can there be any joy equal to this privation？
I open myself to my family； as much as I can； and very willingly let them
know the state of my opinion and good will towards them； as I do to
everybody else： I make haste to bring out and present myself to them； for
I will not have them mistaken in me； in anything。 Amongst other
particular customs of our ancient Gauls； this； as Caesar reports；＇De
Bello Gall。； vi。 r8。＇ was one； that the sons never presented
themselves before their fathers； nor durst ever appear in their company
in public； till they began to bear arms； as if they would intimate by
this； that it was also time for their fathers to receive them into their
familiarity and acquaintance。
I have observed yet another sort of indiscretion in fathers of my time；
that； not contented with having deprived their children； during their own
long lives； of the share they naturally ought to have had in their
fortunes； they afterwards leave to their wives the same authority over
their estates； and liberty to dispose of them according to their own
fancy。 And I have known a certain lord； one of the principal officers of
the crown； who； having in reversion above fifty thousand crowns yearly
revenue； died necessitous and overwhelmed with debt at above fifty years
of age； his mother in her extremest decrepitude being yet in possession
of all his property by the will of his father； who had； for his part；
lived till near fourscore years old。 This appears to me by no means
reasonable。 And therefore I think it of very little advantage to a man；
whose affairs are well enough； to seek a wife who encumbers his estate
with a very great fortune； there is no sort of foreign debt that brings
more ruin to families than this： my predecessors have ever been aware of
that danger and provided against it； and so have I。 But those who
dissuade us from rich wives； for fear they should be less tractable and
kind； are out in their advice to make a man lose a real commodity for so
frivolous a conjecture。 It costs an unreasonable woman no more to pass
over one reason than another； they cherish themselves most where they are
most wrong。 Injustice allures them； as the honour of their virtuous
actions does the good； and the more riches they bring with them； they are
so much the more good…natured； as women； who are handsome； are all the
more inclined and proud to be chaste。
'Tis reasonable to leave the administration of affairs to the mothers；
till the children are old enough； according to law； to manage them； but
the father has brought them； up very ill； if he cannot hope that； when
they come to maturity； they will have more wisdom and ability in the
management of affairs than his wife； considering the ordinary weakness of
the sex。 It were； notwithstanding； to say the truth； more against nature
to make the mothers depend upon the discretion of their children； they
ought to be plentifully provided for； to maintain themselves according to
their quality and age； by reason that necessity and indigence are much
more unbecoming and insupportable to them than to men； the son should
rather be cut short than the mother。
In general； the most judicious distribution of our goods； when we come to
die； is； in my opinion； to let them be distributed according to the
custom of the country； the laws have considered the matter better than we
know how to do； and 'tis wiser to let them fail in their appointment；
than rashly to run the hazard of miscarrying in ours。 Nor are the goods
properly ours； since； by civil prescription and without us； they are all
destined to certain successors。 And although we have some liberty beyond
that； yet I think we ought not； without great and manifest cause； to take
away that from one which his fortune has allotted him； and to which the
public equity gives him title； and that it is against reason ； to abuse
this liberty； in making it serve our own frivolous and private fancies。
My destiny has been kind to me in not presenting me with occasions to
tempt me and divert my affection from the common and legitimate
institution。 I see many with whom 'tis time lost to employ a long
exercise of good offices： a word ill taken obliterates ten years' merit；
he is happy who is in a position to oil their goodwill at this last
passage。 The last action carries it； not the best and most frequent
offices； but the most recent and present do the work。 These are people
that play with their wills as with apples or rods； to gratify or chastise
every action of those who pretend to an interest in their care。 'Tis a
thing of too great weight and consequence to be so tumbled and tossed and
altered every moment； and wherein the wise determine once for all； having
above all things regard to reason and the public observance。 We lay
these masculine substitutions too much to heart； proposing a ridiculous
eternity to our names。 We are； moreover； too superstitious in vain
conjectures as to the future； that we derive from the words and actions
of children。 Peradventure they might have done me an injustice； in
dispossessing me of my right； for having been the most dull and heavy；
the most slow and unwilling at my book； not of all my brothers only； but
of all the boys in the whole province： whether about learning my lesson；
or about any bodily exercise。 'Tis a folly to make an election out of
the ordinary course upon the credit of these divinations wherein we are
so often deceived。 If the ordinary rule of descent were to be violated；
and the destinies corrected in the choice they have made of our heirs；
one might more plausibly do it upon the account of some remarkable and
enormous personal deformity； a permanent and incorrigible defect； and in
the opinion of us French； who are great admirers of beauty； an important
prejudice。
The pleasant dialogue betwixt Plato's legislator and his citizens will be
an ornament to this place； 〃What；〃 said they； feeling themselves about